Oh man, what a week. The boys were signed up for a Y program called Summer Power. This was the third week of scheduled programming in a row, so I assumed that by the end of the week, they’d be burned out and ready for some home time. But I was excited about the program. We got an hour by hour schedule filled with activities, crafts, sports, swimming and a field trip every day. This was a different location than the first 2 weeks- closer to our house, so less driving. Awesome.
Monday was good. Nate did drop off and pick up, so I didn’t get to see anything, but Augustus had fun. His group went on a field trip to a really cool park. Xander came home saying he didn’t want to go back, but I wasn’t surprised. He and I took a walk after dinner and talked about it. I asked him if he was anxious about the field trip (because his group had walked across the street to the YMCA for swimming, so he hadn’t gotten on a bus yet) and he said he was. Xander has a tendency towards anxiety, so we talked about all of the safety procedures, the staff training and all of the behind the scenes details that 7 year olds don’t normally care about. He was very interested and was feeling really great about validating his feelings, listening to him and also convincing him to give it a try (because I thought it would be fun and because I had a ton of work to do).
On Tuesday, Nate dropped them off and I was disappointed when he texted to tell me Xander had a tough time and asked him to ask me to pick him up early. So much for my good talk. His field trip was scheduled to get back at 2, Augustus’s at 3:30, so I decided to go early to hang out with X and wait for Gussie together.
And that is where our week derailed.
When I arrived to the secure location, instead of putting in a door code, or being buzzed in by a staff member, a random child wandering by the door let me in. Um? Ok.
When I walked in, 4 staff looked at me and not one greeted me, asked me who I was there to pick up, directed me or asked me for my identification. Xander came over to me as I listened to one of the staff women YELL at the group of kids. Like, so aggressive, so over the top, I nearly stepped in. When she paused, I asked her what was going on and she proceeded to vent her frustrations about how bad the group was being. I bit my tongue. But I was getting progressively more frustrated and I had been there approximately 5 minutes at that point.
I watched several parents arrive to pick up kids. None of them was asked for ID (which is a standard practice at Y youth programs). When I saw that same yelling staff member take a child, just her and that child, into an office to call his mom, and close the door behind her (for those who don’t work in youth development, you are NEVER to be one on one with a child in an enclosed space, ever), that was when I was at my breaking point.
When the site director, who had been on the field trip with Gussie’s group arrived, I said, “I would like to see you in your office as soon as you are settled.” Poor Ryan didn’t know what hit him. I said, first of all, after we are done speaking, you need to go out there and send that young woman home, she is not safe to be with children. The second thing you are going to do is call your boss and let him know you need more support at this site, because what I have witnessed in the last 15 minutes is telling me that this site has some major safety red flags.
When he started to apologize, I told him, you don’t answer to me and this isn’t about my children, who will not be coming back. But I am going to call your boss and his boss and the executive director of the YMCA and so this is just the beginning of this conversation, because you have a problem with this site and it needs to be fixed.
I went through the safety issues and clear policy violations and then I wished him well and took my children home. I called his boss, emailed his boss’s boss, and the ED at the Y. I have some “karen” tendencies, but this wasn’t that my special snowflake didn’t like something or whatever. These were safety violations and after my long conversation with Xander about staff training, safety and policy, there was no question that this wasn’t going to work for us.
I love the Y and believe in Y programming and we’ve had nothing but good experiences so far. We are signed up for more programming later in the summer. I think this was a rough day, difficulty in staffing, multiple challenges all at once. I will send my kids back to the Y in the future. But we were done with that program.
On Wednesday, Nate took the boys to golf lessons in the morning and in the afternoon, they got unlimited screen time. I am working on a GIANT project and my deadline is July 6, so this whole week was PACKED. Grandma Debbie was gone Wednesday-Thursday, so it was ipads, computers, video games- whatever you want, I have to work.
Thursday morning, I had an in person meeting, so we packed up the ipads and computers, a giant pile of snacks, and headed to work. The boys were very good- they sat quietly for 3 hours. When we got home, I had SO MUCH WORK TO DO, and they were bored, sick of screens, arguing with each other and I was fighting for my life. I am typically pretty patient with them and I try hard not to yell, but I yelled, they yelled. I am also not a crier, so you know this week was rough as I burst into tears multiple times throughout the week.
My mom got home from up north on Thursday afternoon and came to my house to save my life. She kept the boys busy in the pool, and also managed to vacuum and clean my house, do my laundry, and give me time to work. Nate was golfing all day Thursday, so, ya know, he wasn’t able to offer any help. Luckily Grandma Debbie to the rescue.
Friday was another morning of screens, boys arguing/being sick of each other, me yelling, me trying to work. It wasn’t a good week. I will freely admit it. It was really hard. I felt like a failure as a mom every single day. I was drowning at work. My house was in shambles. It was not an easy week. I am not proud of how short on patience I was. I did my best, but I wanted to be better at all things and I fell short every day.
On Saturday, Grandma Debbie took the boys for the day and I worked from 9am-8pm with just a short break for dinner. By the end of the day, I had made MAJOR progress, but my eyes hurt, my body hurt from sitting without moving, and I was drained. It’s been a hard week, have I mentioned that yet? I was so grateful that the boys were with Grandma Debbie for a while.
The boys called midday to ask if they could spend the night at her house, but then Xander changed his mind later in the day, so Nate went to get him around dinner time. I think it was good for the boys to have some time apart, so it actually worked out pretty well.
Today has been a busy day of family fun. The house is still in shambles. I still have tons of work to do. But we all headed to my uncle’s cabin for the day and it was a great day. The weather was gorgeous. The boys got to swim, jet ski, wrestle with Uncle Danny and my cousin Jason, jump off the boat, drive the boat, and play all day. Danny and Heather took me on my first open water swim- very different than lap swimming at the Y! First Danny kayaked 200 yards out. Heather and I swam to him, but keeping my eye on him when my head came up for air was way harder than I expected. I didn’t exactly swim in a straight line to him, but did quite a ziz zag path. Swimming back to shore was slightly easier, although I was still zig zagging a big. Then Heather kayaked out, and I swam with Danny. It was really fun and I definitely want to do it again.
We ended up staying at the cabin until almost 7, which wasn’t my plan, but it was such a fun day, none of us wanted to leave.
Our week ahead is supposed to include some PTO (both me and Nate), but I still have a lot of work to do between now and July 6, so we’ll see how it ends up going. However, the end is in sight for my work insanity to end, so I just have to be survive a few more crazy days. At least this tough week is behind us and we can start fresh tomorrow!
