School is going great and the boys are so happy to be back to a routine, hanging with their friends, learning and spending all day playing.
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Last week and this week have been stressful for me (and Nate). On Tuesday, I ran into daycare to pick up the boys in the afternoon. From my van to the entrance is maybe 20 feet. I was inside around 5 minutes. When I came outside, Xander noticed some items on the ground and I quickly realized that my purse had been stolen.
I called Nate (because I couldn’t drive without my car keys) and calmly waited for him to bring the extra key fob. I was the idiot who left my door unlocked and my purse on the center console. I felt violated, but also so stupid for making such a dumb mistake.
Nate was a rockstar and had our credit cards cancelled immediately (they were at Target within minutes and managed to charge $600 on my business card before I cancelled it). Luckily credit card fraud is pretty smooth and all of our cards were frozen (and the camp card refunded quickly). They turned my phone off right away, but technology is great and I was able to freeze it and turn on an alert in case they turned it back on.
On Wednesday, we went to the bank to get a new checking and savings account (because they took my checkbook). The bank gave us temporary debit cards, overnighted credit cards and ordered new checks at no charge. Verizon overnighted me a new phone within 24 hours. Nate ordered new health insurance cards. I went to the dealership and got a new key fob (which deactivated the old one). Overall, we were able to get everything back to normal quite quickly.
But that first night (Tuesday), I didn’t sleep well. They had my car keys, my office keys and our house keys, as well as all of my personal information. I wasn’t sure if they were going to come to our house, or steal my car or go to my office. I was so stressed out and couldn’t stop kicking myself for being such a dummy.
In addition to my keys, checkbook, credit cards, ID and phone, there were a few other things in my purse that were truly upsetting. I carry my dad’s “Black Hills Prospector Club” membership card. It’s a laminated piece of cardstock, but it’s precious. I like reaching into my wallet and seeing it.
By far, the biggest loss and what I couldn’t stop thinking about and kicking myself over and over again was my fairy stone. My dad was a treasure hunter in all forms and one of the things he and I found together was a fairy stone. It’s a rock that looks like a cross and the legend says it will keep you safe, so I carry it everywhere. All week long, I kept thinking, “if I had something so precious, why on earth didn’t I lock my car?!?!” I was SO SO upset with myself. It felt like a dark cloud hanging over me. How could I be so careless? How could I lose something so important?
Grief is a weird thing- I’ll never be over the loss of my dad. As of November, it will be 9 years since he died and most of the time, I’m ok. I will always miss him and be sad and there are still times when I am angry he’s gone or deeply sad. But there were a lot of years where I cried about him often and really struggled with his loss, and it hasn’t been like that in a while. Until now. All week long, I felt like I was back in that active grief period. I’ve been so angry and sad and depressed and overwhelmed. I wanted my rock back and the loss of that item reminded me how much I missed my dad. Getting our bank accounts, and credit cards fixed was annoying and inconvenient and in some cases expensive ($300 for a new key fob!) but I didn’t expect to be transported back to grieving my dad because of a stolen purse.
On Sunday night, I got an alert on my phone that my lost phone had been turned on and was in East St. Paul. Nate offered to drive over to the location and see if he could find it and hopefully along with the phone, my purse.
I tried not to get my hopes up. But all week long, I had been hoping for a miracle. Dreaming that maybe someone will find it in a garbage can. Unfortunately, it was a cell phone pawn shop and by the time Nate arrived, the phone was off and there was no purse in sight. Even though I’d tried not to get my hopes up, I was crushed. I knew what I had been hoping for was unlikely, but still, I thought…maybe… For the first time in years, I found myself talking to my dad, begging him for a sign. I’m not religious- I don’t think he’s floating around on a cloud. But I believe in energy and souls and spirits and I think he’s here with me- although it’s been a long time since I really felt him.
“Please dad, if you’re around, can you visit me in a dream or give me some kind of sign that things will be ok?” It’s just a rock. I shouldn’t have been so shaken by a rock. But I was so so upset. I am not superstitious, but I kept thinking that I wasn’t going to be ok without that rock to protect me. I was having bad dreams. I was miserable. I knew I would get over it and everything would be fine. I have a wonderful life. But at the moment, I was feeling despair and hoping somehow, my dad could send me some kind of sign he was around.
Driving the boys to school this morning, I got a phone call from the police asking me if I’d lost my purse. Someone in Roseville found it in their garbage and the police officer they called found my ID and found me. The first appointment at the DMV to get a new license isn’t until the end of October, so the fact that they found it was thrilling. I was NOT going to get my hopes up about the rock. But any part of the lost purse was a win.
The phone and credit cards were gone. EVERYTHING else was there. Even the pop up sucker I’d bought for Xander. They didn’t even take sushi gift card I’d had. My keys, wallet, checkbook. My FAIRY STONE.
I cried the whole drive home. I hadn’t cried yet. But I sobbed and sobbed and I know in my heart that was my sign. My dad is with me and watching and probably shaking his head and using some choice language about me leaving my door unlocked with my purse in plain sight. I am so grateful for whoever found my purse and put in effort to turn it in and get it back to me. They will never know how much it means to me.
Oh, and for the first time ever, Augustus peed on the potty at school today. He has resisted potty training with passion, and I’ve been assuming we’d be sending him off to college in pull ups, so that was perhaps, even a bigger miracle.
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Our first week back to school and me back to the office was a success! New shoes, new haircuts and 2 excited boys. I was able to walk both of them to their classrooms for the first day (a change from covid is that they usually get dropped off in the entry and walk themselves). They were both excited and not scared at all! They hugged me goodbye and walked right in with no tears or hesitation! 
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The last 5 months have been like running a long exhausting marathon. And just when I could see the finish line, SURPRISE, there was one last hill to climb. On Friday, Xander got sick, which led to a long weekend. Augustus went with me to Walgreens on Saturday to buy more medicine and a few treats for Xander. He was quite a helper. We relaxed all day on Saturday- the boys had unlimited screen time, lots of popsicles, chicken soup and naps. 
