Monthly Archives: March 2023

2 weeks. That’s how long spring break is. With weekends, the boys will have been out of school for 16 days straight. As we come to and end, I am exhausted, but we’ve had so much fun and I am grateful for the time we got to spend together. I still think 2 weeks is excessive, but we’ve had a great time.

With so many days off, I knew I needed to have a plan. We needed to find a balance between freedom to play and relax without any structure, but also, enough activity that they wouldn’t get bored and whinny. My boys (especially Xander) appreciate a visual schedule. He is so much like me and has regularly checked the chart to see where we were in the plan. I like it because it gives both of them a sense of time and structure that they need. We had some Grandma days planned, some days at our house, and then some concrete plans. Nate and I both had to work for a lot of it, so there was some major balancing from us to make sure we could be parents and also get our jobs done.

Spring break kicked off with Xander’s basketball tournament (see previous post) on Saturday, and then spending the night at Grandma Debbie’s house Sunday into Monday. They played outside, went swimming, went to the Shoreview Community Center, played with toys, “worked out” in the fitness center, and ran around her condo joyfully.

Tuesday was an “at home play day” and the boys alternated between playing together, playing video games, reading books, doing chores (the more chores they do, the more screen time they can earn). Overall, they were super independent and I got a lot of work done that day.

On Saturday, Mr. Myles had cheered Xander on at his basketball tournament, so on Tuesday night, we headed to MPA to cheer on Mr. Myles and the varsity boys basketball team. They were really fun to watch! Despite having gone out to dinner beforehand, the boys enjoyed some game time concessions (which they loved!) and our team won! It was a really fun night.

Wednesday I worked in the morning and then the boys and I headed to the Science Museum. It’s been years since I have visited and this was the first time for the boys. There was so much to do and we were there for most of the day. It made most sense to buy a membership so we’ll definitely be back again!

On Thursday, Xander’s best friend Sammy came over for the day and they had a ton of fun running around, teaching each other new things on Roblox, and just being cool 1st grade dudes. We had a movie night in the evening. The boys played outside, played together, played separately. They were busy kids!

On Friday, I had a lot of work to do, so it was a daddy/boys day. They headed to Good Times Park in Eagan for several hours of running around, bouncing, playing, etc.

Saturday was an at-home day. Video games, reading books, toys, playing… Just an average day in the life of 2 little boys!

On Sunday, we went to Vertical Endeavors for some family rock climbing. A year ago, we climbed for the first time. Gussie was not a fan. Xander made it about halfway up the walls. But this time, Xander hit to top of the wall twice! Gussie got farther and farther up every time he tried. It was SO fun to see how much they have grown up. They are stronger, braver, and it was such a fun activity for all 4 of us.

Monday was a busy day for all of us. The boys were with Grandma Debbie all day. I had a full day of meetings, followed by a marathon packing session. Nate was at work. The day flew by in a blur, because Tuesday we hopped it the car and headed to Wisconsin Dells. Nate and I like to joke about “indoor waterpark people” which isn’t necessarily complimentary, except that, WE are indoor waterpark people. The boys LOVE LOVE LOVE the water. I love the water. Nate loves waterslides. And the Wilderness Resort had all of those things and much more. At 5&7, this is the perfect level of family vacation for us. I look forward to the future when we can expand our travel plans a bit, but we had the BEST time in the Dells.

The Wilderness Resort has 3 indoor waterparks (and 3 outdoor, but obviously we didn’t need those in March). We visited all 3, enjoying different water slides, the lazy river, the wave pool, and the kids area, that has a GIANT bucket of water that tips over every 5 or so minutes and dumps a million gallons of water on the crowd of kids that gather at the sound of the bell (which alerts them to the upcoming splash). There were delicious strawberry margaritas that Nate and I enjoyed in between going down the massive slides.

What drew me to this resort (because there are so many to choose from!) was all of the other activities to do as well. I actually think the boys enjoyed the dry activities MORE than the water park, and that is a high compliment because our family LOVES the water.

There was unlimited laser tag, which I didn’t expect to be the favorite activity, but I think the boys played 25 or 30 rounds each over the course of the time we were there! They LOVED it. There was a climbing wall, a high ropes course, an arcade, an indoor play place. There were go karts, which from 8am-10, were open for little kids to drive. Nate was the MVP of the trip, because he got up early each day and took the boys down to drive, leaving me in the room to lay in bed and read books and relax. You had to be between 6-12 to drive in the morning. Gussie is 5.5. On the first morning, Nate texted me the following-

“Augustus (in line)- ‘yesterday I was 5, but now I’m 6 and I didn’t even have a birthday party!’ Xander- ‘you know he’s going to blow it, right?'”

We lied. We taught our sweet baby to lie. But he did a great job driving and I feel ok about it.

We ate at a restaurant where our food was delivered by a model train! We enjoyed tacos and margaritas (virgin for 3 of us). We visited the candy store at the resort and stocked up on treats. We ate giant ice cream sundaes and stayed up WAY too late every night. It was fantastic. We had the best 4 days. We left Friday and all of us were EXHAUSTED. Spring break success.

When Xander was 3, he came home from daycare the day before St. Patrick’s Day and said, “my teacher said a leprechaun might visit our house tonight.” WHAT?! I was NOT prepared. I love magical things, but a leprechaun was new to me. I improvised that year. I made a muffin mix I had on hand and set out bright green muffins for him to find in the morning. I turned the milk green. I left tiny green footprints across the kitchen floor. Xander was excited and it was magical and in the following years, I found shamrock candy and silly things and the leprechaun continued to visit, leaving green footprints and green milk.

Last year, I didn’t leave the footprints, thinking maybe it was time to phase out the leprechaun… thinking Xander wouldn’t notice and it wouldn’t matter. MOM FAIL. Oh my gosh. I have heard about the leprechaun’s lack of effort ALL YEAR. That kid has an amazing memory. So this year, I was conflicted. On one hand, we were gone on Friday morning, so maybe this was year 2 of phasing out the leprechaun. But I also didn’t want to disappoint my first born child like last year.

I have moved more than one holiday in the past. I thought maybe I could trick them and say St. Patrick’s Day was on Saturday morning. But our neighborhood had a St. Patrick’s gathering (we missed out because we had EXHAUSTED kids, but they heard about it from Sam and Abby). On Friday night, once the kids went to bed, I put some green cupcakes in the oven, hoping to surprise them in the morning. But no. Xander yelled down, “what’s that smell” and was not fooled by, “Nothing, I’m just microwaving something”. Both boys marched downstairs to investigate.

I told them that I had bad news. It was St. Patrick’s Day and unfortunately, I thought the leprechaun missed us because we weren’t home. But that I was going to try to surprise them with green cupcakes instead. They were bummed that we got missed by the leprechaun but excited about the cupcakes. They went to bed. When I was sure they were asleep, I made green footprints across the kitchen, climbing up the table legs, and tiny handprints on the table. The milk turned green and chocolate coins and shamrocks were spread out on the table.

On Saturday morning, Xander came running upstairs before my eyes were open. “The leprechaun came!” I opened one eye and played dumb, saying, “the cupcakes were from me, remember?!” He explained all of the magical details and said, “I knew he would come back for us!” St. Patrick’s Day success. I only have a few more years (if I’m lucky) of the kids being SO swept into the magic and wonder. I will continue to go all out while they are so innocent and easy to please.

While we were in the Dells, my mom texted to ask if the boys could stay overnight Saturday-Sunday. I wasn’t sure if it would be too much after a busy spring break, but they wanted to go, so I said yes.

A few notes about this… Many (all?!) of my friends who are moms, HATE me and are deeply jealous of what an amazing mom I have and fun grandma my children have. I don’t know what we would do without my mom. We had a fabulous spring break, but by Saturday morning, I was starting to understand why some animals eat their young. Dropping the boys off with Grandma Debbie was like that first deep breath you take after being underwater. She had a kitchen stocked with all of their favorite foods, movie tickets to Shazaam 2, piles of toys and crafts, a snow mountain in her parking lot, a pool, and more energy and willingness to run around with them than any human being on the planet. Meanwhile I was feeling completely drained, not patient, not fun, and unsure how I was going to make it through 2 more days of feeding, entertaining, and being a decent mother (have I mentioned that spring break was 16 DAYS?!). I think the end of every vacation in the future, needs to be a vacation from each other… just 24 hours to regroup- do laundry, get groceries, catch up, and breathe, just sit and do nothing- breathe, settle back in, after a whirlwind of nonstop togetherness and fun. I baked. I read a book. Nate and I ordered take out food that we ate on the couch while we watched a movie. The boys went to the movie, went to Smack Shack for dinner, swam, played, took long baths. I’m starting to think I might need to leave the boys home with Nate and I go to my mom’s instead. I want to be entertained nonstop and fed good food!

Today is Sunday and the last day of the long break. I baked, did laundry, walked the puppies and relaxed! I recently had the chance to work with a design company who helped me re-brand my macaron business. I never even meant to have a business, I just like baking. But now I have a small business and I officially unveiled a new name- North Star Macarons. Nothing really changes except now I have cool stickers and a logo.

The boys spent most of the day with Grandma- crafting, playing outside, and shopping. When they got home, they played outside with Sam and Abby, and then the whole crew came over here until dinner time. Sundays are for sundaes, so we had an end-of-break sundae celebration.

What a fun 2 weeks we have had. Now, back to our regularly scheduled lives!

I bought couch cover/dog beds that go on the couch for the dogs. They are satisfied with them.

Besides new dog beds, this week has been a big one for Xander. On Monday, his class hosted the Lower School assembly and everyone in his class got to read part of a book. I was super excited I was able to stay and see him read. He also had a special reading assignment and got to read the instructions for the activity that came after the book they read. I don’t know where this 7 year old gets his confidence and poise, but he did such a great job!

Tuesday was his last basketball practice until next session (which is in 2 weeks, so not that big of a deal). Thursday was his Grouchy Ladybug play in drama class. I wrote a whole separate post about it here. He was confident, so cute, and I was so proud of him.

On Friday, 1st grade presented their Troll Story projects. They’ve been working on these projects since after Christmas break. They wrote a story, which includes multiple characters, story development, several rounds of editing and finally a typed, multi-page bound book. They illustrated it. They built dioramas of it. And on Friday, all of the parents came to school to first listen to Xander’s teacher share her troll story. She is an amazing writer and reader and included each kid’s troll in her story. It was so fun to watch them LIGHT UP when they heard their character mentioned. After she read, we all spread out and the 1st graders read to their parents. Xander was so proud and I couldn’t believe what an elaborate, impressive project that he had created. I can guarantee that I was NOT doing that kind of work when I was in 1st grade!

On Saturday, Xander’s basketball team was in the all-YMCA tournament. It was a very well done production with 90+ teams involved. Xander’s team has only won one game this season, so I was relatively sure that we would only be there for the fist game, but his team has a lot of spirit and he did a great job and I have a feeling that next season will give us a few more wins. Mr. Myles, Xander’s kindergarten aid (and the MPA boy’s basketball coach) and ABSOLUTE COOLEST person at MPA came to watch Xander play and cheer him on. Xander was adamant that we print off the schedule for Mr. Myles and invite him. I didn’t think he would want to spend a Saturday afternoon at a 1st grade basketball game, but there he was. And I appreciated it so much. It meant a lot to Xander because he absolutely adores Mr. Myles.

Nate has been working on assembling my Christmas gift for a few weeks now and he finally finished it! I was excited to take his picture, but Xander grabbed my phone and said, “BOTH OF YOU, I’ll take it!”

In other family news, KT, our foreign exchange student moved to a new host family this weekend. His mother was concerned that our house wasn’t an adequate environment for studying, which is interesting since KT was literally in his room every moment he wasn’t at school or eating, so I’m not sure how he could possibly be more focused. Unfortunately hosting didn’t really turn out the way we’d hoped. These students are not here for a “study abroad” experience with lots of fun cultural experiences and friendships. They are here to be perfect students and get into ivy league schools and that is it. Nate has described this experience as “net neutral”- not bad, but not good. I would host again, under different circumstances, but I am also happy to close that chapter of our year. I think KT will be successful and hopefully think back with fond memories of his time with us.

For the next 2 weeks, the boys are on spring break, so there will be some fun, some balancing work/kids for Nate and I, and a long stretch of no routine, so send good vibes our way….

Xander is at an age that I love so much and I want to remember every single conversation we have. He is precocious, hilarious, confident, and observant. He has so many opinions. He has a lot of really great traits from Nate and for many years, I thought he was going to be an actual clone of his father. Turns out, he’s got a LOT of Natalie King in him as well and oh buddy, does this kid need to speak to a manager on a regular basis.

Xander’s drama class is putting on a production of The Grouchy Ladybug. To be clear, this is just a little performance in his class- not a full Broadway Production. His homework was to create a ladybug headband featuring the animal he was assigned- he was a gorilla.

His teacher was very clear- do not buy anything. Crafting at home only. I offered to help him- I was fully prepared for some elaborate crafting. He did not want my help. When he half-assed the project and glued a few little black dots on his headband, I offered to help. Nope. Ok, fine, I will not be THAT mom who takes over. He was satisfied, so that was that.

Except that somewhere along the way, Xander decided he absolutely, in no way shape or form, wanted to wear the headband. He was outraged at the thought of having to wear it. I told him he needed to speak to his teacher and say something like, “I do not feel comfortable wearing the headband, I would prefer to be in the play without it.”

On Tuesday, he came home and said he talked to his teacher. I asked what he said. “I said, with all due respect, I don’t wanna wear the headband.” And in response, she said it just seemed like he wasn’t into it, but he should plan to wear the headband. Cue 7 year old OUTRAGE.

I refuse to be a helicopter parent who rushes in to tell the teacher that my special snowflake isn’t going to wear the headband. But I am raising a child in 2023, so I can’t just tell him to shut up and wear it like they did back in my day. (For the record, my parents never said that, but they also weren’t spending their spare time watching instagram videos about child development.)

We sat down to really dig into the issue.

Xander- “First of all, we are wearing blue [the color of their uniform shirts], and ladybugs aren’t blue, so it doesn’t make any sense. If there was a full costume, I would wear it, but it’s just a dumb headband, so it’s ridiculous.”

Ok, I feel that in my soul. If something isn’t done right, I get frustrated and feel like I don’t even want to bother at all. Xander is upset about the production value of this play. Got it.

We talked a little more about his actual headband and I tried to find some ways to sell it to him. I asked if we could improve the headband, would it feel better? I suggested we find a cool picture of a gorilla and attach that to the headband.

“My headband is already in the drama room.”- X

I said, ok, how about tomorrow, we find a cool picture, I can bring it with me when I pick you up. We can go to the drama room and attempt to improve your headband, and if we can’t fix it, we can talk to your teacher about other options. He was satisfied with that.

At the end of the conversation, my darling 7 year old said to me, “In your own words, can you repeat back to me everything I told you so that I know you know what to say to my teacher?” I had to hold my breath for a moment so I didn’t burst into laughter. Is this my child or is this my child?!? I took a deep breath and said, “what I heard you say is…”

Stories like this make me miss my dad so much. My dad was 7 in 1960. Little boys did not get their feelings validated or their voices heard. I wish I could see his face and hear his reaction to all of Xander’s feelings. I think he would be baffled, but I think it would also be good for him to see how he should have been treated. We are raising self aware, confident, empowered kids. But when you see my exhausted face and gray hair, and think, “whoa, she has really aged in the last 7 years”, you know exactly the conversations that are making me look this way.

Wednesday afternoon, I showed up to school with 2 different sized gorillas with double sided tape on both of them, ready for some headband triage.

Yes, I do have a full time job. But yes also, I spent 20 minutes of my day printing, cutting, taping and doing homework my 7 year old didn’t do the first time. We will eventually revisit the conversation about how he “phoned in” his homework which lead to all this drama, but for the moment, I was in problem solving mode. We went to the drama room and the teacher said, “oh, I can glue them on in the morning.” No. I explained that we needed to try it on and process some feelings. She was very patient. As we fixed the headband, she explained that real life actors sometimes get assigned costumes they don’t like, and they just have to wear them. And really the play is just a few minutes, so wearing it shouldn’t matter that much… uh huh. Nice try lady. He said he would think about it.

When we walked out, he looked like he was going to burst into tears and I knew I had not solved this yet. “If it’s not a big deal, why do I have to wear the headband.” Touche. Point for Xander.

We had to go to swimming, so I managed to calm him down and tell him we would talk again and reminded him that I am on his side and we would figure it out.

After dinner on Wednesday night, Xander, Nate and I all climbed into our bed and snuggled together to have a processing meeting. Nate was of the opinion he should just wear it. He had not been part of the first emotional processing, so he wasn’t prepared for Xander’s outrage, annoyance, and just outright indignation.

Eventually it came out that he just really wasn’t satisfied with the headband. I asked if we could re-make it. He said, “the play is tomorrow! How are we just going to re-make the whole thing?!” A crafting challenge?! Are you kidding me?!? Cue my outrage. Um, hello? I was born for last minute, urgent crafting challenges.

We went downstairs and I continued to assure him that he would not have to wear it if he decided that was the right choice for him. I soothed, I listened, I cut, I glued, and eventually, I said, let’s just try this on and see how it feels.

As Grandma Debbie is famous for saying, “winner winner, chicken dinner”.

He didn’t outright agree to wear it. “I mean, how will we even get this to school and will my teacher even let me wear a different one?!” First of all, it is a paper crown, we can probably just put it in your backpack. Second of all, I will email your teacher and tell her you are bringing a new headband and if she doesn’t agree to let you wear it I will beat her up in the parking lot. I didn’t say that last part, but after all of the emotional processing, this was a hill I was prepared to die on. However, I was relatively sure she would just be happy to have an easy going 7 year old in a headband.

His teacher responded before I was back downstairs from tucking him in- she was thrilled he had a new headband he liked. Perfect.

Thursday morning, I made some ladybug strawberries to go with breakfast, and used red chocolate melts to dip oreos for a special treat to go with his snack. Xander woke up in a great mood and felt really good about the play, wearing the headband, and life in general.

The 5 minute play was a wild success. He was adorable, confident, and wearing the headband. Whew. I hope every project is not this much emotional work!